Please don’t hate me.

If you’re a vegetarian or vegan, I apologize for featuring a seafood recipe today.

I have rambled on about Grilled Lemon Butter Dill Salmon and Grilled Halibut Tacos before. Oh! And Healthy Tuna and Toasted Walnut Salad.

But usually my recipes are completely meat-free.

So you won’t hurt my feelings if you skip right over this recipe, possibly roll your eyes at your computer screen or utter profanity under your breath.

I get it.

Although… you could swap in some mashed chickpeas for the salmon.

That would probably be kind of amazing, but I haven’t tried it yet.

Or you could be an angel and cook these crispy cakes up for a seafood-eating family member, friend, or crush.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling extra generous, I cook up some meat for my homies.

But usually I force them to eat tofu, quinoa, and polenta.

Muah ha ha.

Usually there are no complaints.

Whether they actually enjoy their vegetarian meal or not.

Thank god my sister doesn’t eat meat.

Because I would definitely get some shi* from her.

Siblings.

They won’t let you down in the honesty department.

I never walk out the door looking less than a Kardashian when her judgmental stare and raised eyebrow are present.

Just kidding, usually I could care less.

If my sister did eat seafood, I’m sure she would thoroughly enjoy these cakes.

Because they’re mouthwateringly crispy.

And who doesn’t love crispy?

Canned wild salmon, a lightly beaten egg, fresh lemon juice, creamy mayo, grated carrots, snipped chives, fresh ground black pepper, whole wheat flour, and salt are gently mixed together than formed into patties and fried in tropical coconut oil until golden brown and… crispy. Garnish with grated carrots and chives then squeeze on some zesty lemon juice and serve with cooling cucumber slices.

These yummy cakes serve two as an appetizer and uno as a main course.

Dig in!

P.S. You don’t have to use coconut oil… canola oil would work just fine. Although the subtle coconut flavor is sooo good. On second thought, coconut oil is the only option.

P.P.S. If you’re all about sauces, stir together some nonfat plain yogurt and fresh lemon juice then throw in a bit of chives. Dollop, dollop, dollop!

P.P.P.S. I was a bit impatient and didn’t crisp my cakes up quite enough. Please do yourself a favor and be more patient than yours truly.

P.P.P.P.S. If you’re creeped out by canned salmon, I understand. Whole Foods’ 365 brand wild pink salmon wasn’t that creepy at all. FYI.